Thursday, April 30, 2009

"True love is meeting another persons needs unselfishly."

Building on today's discussion...

Malcom said this too. Amazing that it grabbed hold of my young mind; that somehow I knew I needed to hold onto it until I figured it out.

I wrote a song about 13 years ago that seems fitting. It is centered on Colossians 1:19-20 in the New Testament.

God, having all things, having all power, and having no needs.
He wanted to bring us to his throne by making peace.
Peace made by His blood, shed on the Cross, just for me.
God, having all things, He wanted me.
Peace, wondrous Peace, made on the cross just for me-
Now I'm reconciled, pure in His sight, and I am free.

I actually sang it to a group for the first time this last week. I had no intention of this discussion including my song until one of the comments tied it all together- unconditional love= true love.
No conditions to make me happy, no conditions to live up to my standards first, no conditions to meet my needs so I can love you. Just love, just like God. He certianly didn't need me... and yet he gave everything to give me life.

I invite you to add to this definition of love in your own words. And as always, I am open for questions.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

What are the characteristics of "Love" anyway? I hear so many definitions that describe "love". But I still wonder what it is that makes the word "love" so powerful?

Anonymous said...

sometimes i wonder if i can love. I do love but it is selfishly...what i feel. So I guess that is not real love. I have seen real love and I don't deserve it.

Anna said...

Wow, today we are really getting somewhere.
I want to start by refrencing the best definition of love that I know. It comes from 1 Corinthians in the New Testament:
"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails."

This passage perfectly summarizes the basic characteristics of love. But then we ask, "How!" How can we do this? I really believe it is impossible without asking God to love through us. Scripture also says "God is love" (1 John 4).

For me personally, the first time I really felt true love for others came immediately after I asked God to take my heart and all of my life, to use me for His intended purpose. It was like a mighty wave of peace, and suddenly I saw others with compassion instead of competition. It was miraculous. It was my re-birth.

Walking in love remains a discipline and practice, however, as we mature. God gives us more freedom to practice walking in His love. In doing so it becomes a daily discipline of asking Him to love through us- and He always answers. Most of our problems come when we do not ask for help.

Thank you for your transparency. Please continue the conversation as extensively as you like.

Anna said...

Unconditional love is not deserved my dear friend. We recieve it just like we give it- out of grace. None of us is perfect. God's love for us is not dependent on our perfection, but on Christ's perfection as he represents us before God. Likewise, we are able to give and receive love freely because of the grace we have been given.

Anna said...

I might add that loving someone does not necessarily mean being subject to them if they are harmful. It is ok to draw boundaries, but again, we do it with love. Here love would show up in the form of forgiveness- not allowing bitterness to set in.

Anonymous said...

Now you have to sing your song for our meeting...it was me, Aunt Booby that said that unconditional love = true love. A sign that you need to sing this for us.
By the way, my parents were the first example I saw of this kind of love. They always loved unconditionally. They taught me what love is. What a picture of God. I'm so glad we don't have to deserve it!

Anonymous said...

I agree with the last anonoymous comment. Anna, you and Billy showed us unconditional love...Obviously God did when he sent His son but He gave us you to show us here. We love you!!!!

The Walker's said...

God is so amazing! This week he has used you to open discussion about examining the definaition on true love. What a relationship looks like when there is true love. WOW! Everything this week has revoloved around that. Of course everyday, every word, action, thought is about love(or should be). But we forget (atleast I do) that our actions carry out what is in our heart. God has shown me alot of areas where I fall short. Such as teaching my kids about how to love, being selfless, how to reach out and minister to others. I was taught in elementary that love is a verb= action. I need to practice what I have been taught. Don't get me wrong I am not a mean person and totally self indulgent or even a neglectful mother. But when I compare the ultimate action of love, God sending His son to die for my sins and Christ being obediant, being the sacrifice. I don't think I understand that depth of love. God has set the standard on love and what I have been giving is not even close to enough. So how do I change that...Thru me I can't but thru Christ I can! I can ask God to fullfil the definition of love thru me (found in 1 Corinthians 13)
Thank you Anna for reminding me what TRUE LOVE is. I can't wait for the next discussion!

Anonymous said...

What if you have never felt true love that unconditional true love. I mean i think sometimes its easier to even love other people than to give yourself that same true love. Maybe ive never felt that true love because ive never allowed myself to accept it. But how do you do that?

Anna said...

12:01 AM anonymous,
True Love can be very hard to give and even harder to accept. Actually, I believe it is impossible without a divine revelation of how valuable and precious we really are as people. It is not based on what we do, but upon who we are. Perhaps you feel un-lovable. Perhaps you didn't have the luxury of growing up around great examples. Whatever the reason, you have to receive a revelation of how important you are to God and that His love does not depend on what you do or even how you feel- it is just because He does love you as part of His creation. He desires for everyone to know His love, but not everyone does. This world is filled with selfish, unloving people. It is up to those of us who have experienced His love to share it with others.
Dear one, simply pray that God will reveal His Love to you. Pray that He will put you in a setting where people really know how to love, like a true Church that understands the Grace and Mercy of God. Pray that God will help you let go of the selfish and conditional love you have known and replace it with the love that does not depend on conditions but is all consuming. That is the kind of Love that will set you free to love others the same way.

Please say more if you need to.
May the Blessings of Compassionate love be yours.