I think I was in middle school when I heard this quote. A great theologian, Malcom Smith, was the voice. I didn't understand what this meant at the time, but something inside grabbed me with truth. You can't, you can't truly love someone if you need them too much. It took years for this truth to take root in my soul. I now understand.
You know, I could illustrate, but I would much rather hear from you first- before I elaborate. The Socratic method invites so much more synergy.
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I can't wait to hear what you have to say.
Anna
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13 comments:
I can really see the truth in this statement. When someone enables an alcoholic or drug addict because they "need" to see the addict stop hurting or suffering. Or they "need" the addict to forgive them because they feel responsible for making them that way.
I can see this when a wife forgives and comes back to an abbusive husband becasue she "needs" to believe he can change, or she "needs" him to forgive her for calling for help.
What a profound statement. I could go on but I won't. Until next time...
Profoundly stated- It's not about love at all is it, it's about need. I'm so glad I decided to open the floor first. I can't wait to hear more.
One of the most powerful things my pastor ever said was during a time he was talking about marriage, but the statement applies to all relationships.
"It's not my responsibility how the other person treats me, it's my responsibility how I treat the other person"
It seems everything in the world works off the spiritual principle of seedtime and harvest. I can't control how other people will treat me, or how situations in life will affect me. But, I can sow seeds into other people's lives that I would like to one day reap in abundance in my own life.
Just some thoughts..... Enjoy the blog Anna, keep it up.
Jeff that is so applicable. When we give freely we freely recieve. When our relationships are based on what we can get, they inevitably self destruct. I have seen over and over how people get stuck in their relationships as they refuse to move forward until they "get what they need." It never works- it turns into control, which is not a relationship. If the relationship is worth keeping, you are right, sow what you need and you will receive indeed:)) Man that's good stuff.
I think this applies to our relationship with our children as well. As hard as it can be, we must allow them to experience (age-appropriate) independence, even at an early age. It is so hard to watch them fall, especially when we know we *could* prevent it, but it is essential in teaching them responsibility and accountability. Our job as parents is to give them the skills they need to succeed in life, not to do everything for them.
As a parent that is such a big pill to swallow isn't it. I remember the exact moment when I came to this crossroad with one of my children. I was actually still pregnant. It was a consious decision to give this child over to my God in faith- refusing the fear of the unknown. With my other child it came in the process of our adoption. I had to do it before they came or I knew I would be miserable. We are not in control, and the sooner we embrace that the more peace we will have. Our children sense that peace as well- what a gift to give to them.
Oh I get it! The key word is "you." A relationship is about 2 people. If it becomes about "need" it becomes one-sided,self-centered, and indulgent. You will lose the one you "love." THat is as deep as I can go and I am pretty sure everyone else covered that. I just had to write it out to understand. It is makig me look at my relationships and evaluate what they are based on...Love or Need. Thanks Anna!
Well done Ms. Walker;)
This can change everything.
Blessings to you as you evaluate- I know your heart is teachable.
Thank you oh wise teacher
~Grasshopper
unconditional love=real love, no strings attached, no "needs" that have to be filled...just love, given, freely
Yes, Unconditial Love is the only real love. I actually wrote a song that touches on what you said-maybe I'll tie that into tonight's blog. Basically, I believe it's the way God loves us in Christ. He doesn't need us, but he came to get us anyway.
Ms. Walker- you are too funny. It did kinda sound like a "grasshopper" statement didn't it:)) LOL! I'm so thankful the lightbulb really came on for you though. That's the reason I'm sitting here.
Aunt "Booby" wants you to sing the song you are talking about at the last meeting we have....dig?
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