Grief

Hello Dear Readers,

I have the rare occasion to be at home alone so there is not much I would rather do than spend a few moments writing.

I want to talk about Grief for a moment.

I have grieved a few things in my life. Probably the hardest were the loss of my sister through addiction and the loss of a best friend through misunderstanding.

Grief is our response to loss, broken dreams, broken relationships, and death. Grief is a process. Grief has many spectrums. The most familiar of these are phases of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and various forms of Acceptance. Grief is fluid and comes in waves. Grief is how we deal with a fallen world.

I want to discuss some of what grief can look like:
Denial is the classic coping mechanism for handling matters in life that are too difficult to accept. Sometimes we accept reality in phases, sometimes we never embrace it completely. It is a very human way of dealing with life. I saw a T-shirt once that said "Denial is my happy place." Not always a happy place, but for many it's better than dealing with reality.

Anger is a protective emotion for many complex feelings we experience. Anger is often the blanket that covers our grief. It is many times general and can be directed at things that have seemingly nothing to do with our grief process.

Bargaining is tricky to understand. Sometimes it comes in the form of trying to figure out how to reverse the situation that caused the grief, hence takes the appearance of bargaining. Sometimes it's with God, sometimes it's with others, sometimes it's with ourselves. "If only I do this, then maybe this..." It is a last ditch effort to not move into acceptance.

Depression is probably the most identifiable form of grief. Depression is actually grief that is submitted to the reality of loss. There is nothing left but sadness. A numb reality that what is is not going to change. From here we either forge into the healing process as we experience our grief or we continue to battle between depression and the other coping mechanisms above until we are ready to move forward. Sadly, some people do not move into healing and many times fall prey to a bitter existence thwarted with negative emotions.

Acceptance is the culmination of the healing process. Acceptance too comes in waves. Many times it seems as though the waves come slowly at first, then more and more frequently. Many will attest that Acceptance fluctuates indefinitely and healing is a life long journey.

I know anyone who reads this can find themselves or someone they know in this difficult journey.
I would love for you to share.